Monday, September 27, 2010

Song #92 "Julie Ann"

This song began with the "oh oh oh" section and I didn't really have ideas for the lyrical content in the beginning. I kept saying "come back Peggy Ann" in the chorus and had NO idea what it meant. They were the only lines that were sticking after singing the melody over and over, so I decided to keep them and write a song to them. I knew I wanted to build the song around this "Peggy Ann" character. Who is she? Why do I want to write about her? I didn't really like Peggy Ann as the final name so I started trying different names like "Peggy Sue and Julie Sue" then once I said Julie Ann and it hit me. That's my mom's name. So there I had a character for the song.

I could probably write 365 songs about the subject of my mother alone. She is presently in prison serving a three year sentence for custody interference and probation violation. She is a very passionate person and had all of us "kids" very involved in music and sports and I am extremely grateful for her efforts. She has so many beautiful qualities and is a very sweet woman. Unfortunately she was also very unhappy and abusive physically and emotionally while we were growing up. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm not sure (as I have seen and "observed" her my whole life) if that is the case or if she was just very very unbalanced and unhappy, but either way it pushed everybody in the family away.

You know how it's suggested to write a letter to someone you are having a hard time communicating with ... and then not to send it. Well songs like these are my letters to my mother ... but also happen to be posted for the world to see :/ The sharing of this song and personal story is not to vent, bash my mother or to give her a bad reputation, but to connect with people who might be experiencing a loss of a loved one ... that "narcoleptic heart" (that's a lyric from the song) that has shut the world out. I love her and am sad that she is so unhappy but ultimately I am at peace with the past.

I co-wrote the song "Behind Bars" with my brother for song #8 of the project. If you would like to listen you can view it here.

Thank you as always for listening :)

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